Mason was taken aback, and Julia had rather an odd sensation – as if she had let him down.
He took a deep breath. “Will you please sit down?”
She did.
He was watching her, thinking feverishly.
Here was Julia, and she was slipping away. With the mysterious physicist or whatever, waiting to impregnate her. Mason knew Julia well enough to see she was not lying, nor kidding him.
Another thing on his mind was what he had heard about a month ago, by chance: that she was in love with him; him, not that Yankee stranger. Mason did not get too much love in his life – so, he could not afford to lose it. That was extremely annoying: why should Julia insist on getting away if she was?
Then it struck Mason it felt strangely familiar, like looking at himself in the mirror. Didn’t he tend to sabotage chances for his own happiness? That bright woman sitting here in his lounge; now and then he’d told himself how much they had in common, and this was just one more thing to add to the long list.
Quite unexpectedly for Julia, Mason smiled at her.
“I don’t know much about physics or neurology, Julia, but I know one thing: I’d be a fool to let you go.”
“Mason--”
“Let’s give it a chance.”
“It?” she echoed.
“Ok. Let me rephrase it. Why don’t you want to give us a chance?”
“Us.”
“I said us.”
Julia was watching him; she looked skeptical. Mason did not blame her.
“It’s hard for me to imagine Santa Barbara without you,” he said. “I’ve grown accustomed to having you in my life.”
‘Probably this is as good as it gets,’ Julia reassured herself.
Still, it just did not seem good enough.
“You feel so insecure – do you think I’ll break your heart?” Mason inquired bluntly.
Julia shook her head. “Nothing much left to break,” she said bitterly.
“Oh Julia. You have a biggest, most compassionate and loving heart; bleeding maybe, but still pretty functional.”
“Mason!”
“I’m sorry. You know what I mean. You can’t evade the emotional involvement, Julia; too late. You’re already involved. So am I.”
He paced the room. “Please don’t go,” he said with emotion. “It’s a mistake, and you know it. We’ve become the best of friends, Julia; and – and I don’t know that boyfriend of yours, of course, but--”
Mason bit his tongue. He could not tell her he had heard her confess she was in love with him. He’d never hear the end of it if he did.
Well if he had not been eavesdropping then, he would have given up long ago. Crawled back into his shell. He was so grateful he did know for sure, that gave him the courage to go on.
“I’ve no idea what you expect me to say, Julia,” he said in exasperation. “Please stay.”
She choked. “It’s not fair what you’re doing.”
He turned abruptly. “What is really not fair is not giving us any chance at all, Julia. You know I want you. Then, there’s Matt; can you just leave us like this?”
“Not fair!”
He chuckled mirthlessly. “Ha, I’ve never been known to play fair, have I, Julia?”
Sadly, she shook her head. “No, not really.”
“The end justifies the means, here’s my credo. In this particular case, I’d do anything for you to stay. Name it.”
“It’s. Not. Fair,” Julia repeated distinctly.
“No, it’s not. Just relax and breathe,” he made a broad gesture with his hand. “Let nature take its course. Stop running away. Stop violating your fate. It’s no life-long commitment, Julia, I don’t know if I will ever be able to—but Julia, really, it’s ridiculous!”
Mason sat beside her on the sofa and ran his fingers through his hair.
“Ridiculous,” he said in a softer voice. “Stay.”
Then he turned to her, and kissed her, and this time she did not draw back.
/Olga Lisenkova/
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